Monday, June 02, 2008
I am tired. Really tired, i feel so meaningless.
Life to me, its too empty.
I envy and are jealous of those who have goals and end to make.
I have nothing?
You know, to see people like musicians, athletics, bloggers or whatsoever, they are happy in doing what they do and going hard into it. As for me, well, i just dont know, i still cant find anything to fight for or go for. Even if i have, theres something else thats pulling me back. Some other responsiblility is always there for me to handle.
First of all, i strongly admired Feng Yi, shes a crazy ass.
She stays Hougang, works in NTU in weekday, and in weekend?.. Works in Downtown East Cathay.
I dont get it, shes never tired. Her strength to do what she wanna do, thats amazing. Thats what i look at her as, a superwoman. Hahs...
Anyway, DTE Cathay is rather cock up place, it requires tons of training for the staffs and cleaners.
Craps man, lifes so meaningless. I dont really get it, why is it that whenever i work in Cathay i will get emo. Just a saturday in DTE Cathay, i can see life so crystal clearly. I dont know, probably the break time and repeated endings of movies messed up my thinking.
Anyway, sorry to my polymates, wasnt able to join you guys for the "Grad Night" on friday. I dont know why, but, just dont have the mood. As friday got nearer i just feel so tired. I missed clubbing getting crazy, shouting, screaming our lungs out. Hais.. Just hope theres some other day. =)
As for now, all im trying to do is keep myself in a good lifestyle. Was hoping to get into some dance class or what, but due to the fact that im going NS. I dont have the time. And im working weekdays, so yeaps. I need the cashies and was hoping to get oversea before enlistment AND a catching up session with everyone whose been in/inandout of my life. Its gonna cost me big money. Hahs, so probably and not willingly, i might be working DTE Cathay on saturdays. Hmmmmm...
People i wanna catch up with, hmmm..
Well, just wanna meet up for dinner, small talks or movie or anything.
I dont talk much, just wanna look at those few peoples again.
Like i told someone before.
If theres fate, we will meet again. For a few friends of mine, its unbelievably true that we could get along so well. Its a sudden burst of emotion and trust that brings people together. Not in the sense of relationship, but belonging. I dont know how to put this feelings to words but its just like this.
Many people or should i say female friends. x.X... have left quite an impression on me. It was just so suddenly that we could sit down and talk for hours or for me to spent time with. I am a superbly lazy piece of shit. If you ask me to stay and chat. I would probably say, see you tonight on msn, and forgot to appear online. =.=....
Hmmm, people like Andrea and Raina. Most importantly my lovely baby, Xueying. Hehs...
Andrea:
(Like im writing story)
Dont know why but its cause of a long ago incident that brought us together to have a heart to heart chat. Ive been working in The Cathay for quite a long time then she came in working in concess. For all i know, shes a friend of Angelia. Thats all. Sometimes, its like chances that we would see each other or just a hi bye thingy. Its amazing that i one day, after work, i stayed back and accompanied Andrea during her break time. She had her meal behind The Picture House walkway. So we sat down and as she was eating, we talked about that incident and stuffs. And both of us was wondering, lol.. why would she tell me about it. We aint close, aint nothing. just workmates.
We both call it FATE. hahs... And now, its been like more than 10 months or so, we didnt contact each other for like a proper conversation or what. Its just a small spark of fate, that bring people together. It changes you and then it leaves. Nothing left behind, but youve changed. Be it she've changed in understanding of something or me but you remember it for as long as you can. Hmmm,.. its just funny to see it back this way.
Raina:
Well well.. shes just another crazy girl... Shes been working in The Cathay too... For like whatever months, cause i dont know she existed! Or probably didnt notice her. Anyway, i dont really remember how we talk or get along so well for that period of time. Hahs.. Just playing a fool...
The most memorable words from her,indirectly was, she feels that im scary... =.=...
I dont talk much during work, thats all. Unless your my eye candy and i always bully you. hahs... Anyway Rainas not.. =P... K.. back to topic..
I dont know how we got along so well.. maybe its that chance or that thing called FATE. that made her decided to sms me when shes sad. I was sleeping if i remembered clearly. Raina smsed/orcalled me, asking whether im free... or what, dam it.. i cant remember clearly... and so... i changed and rush down to PS to meet up with her. I believe at that time she was reluctant to call me up, but i feel happy when someone would look for me in times of need. I will try my best to be there. =D...
We spent the night at ECP and talked alot, walked alot. hahs.. It was fun you know.. walking chatting in midnight. The skys filled with stars, the breeze so cooling, the swish swash of the sea.. Its just sooo calm... it melts you.... Thats the day that changed me to be a little better.. and addicted to the sea.. hahs.. Well... shes Raina.. =D...
Xueying:
This chapter of my life is still in progress. Theres nothing to think back about but to move on together and hand in hand.
All i can say, this are the most amazing chapters of my life. If it is written down, it will be the best selling novel in the world.
Also, in Cathay, she started work just few months after me. And only after a year plus that we actually talk. Most of the time was just hi bye situation. hahs.. And now, we're together. Shes another "thing" that FATE have brought upon me. And i thanks FATE for her.
I shall leave the rest of the chapters blank for now....
FATE.
Theres one more, VIP, very important person, that have changed me. Shes left the deepest and strongest feelings in me. And made me a better man. But ive let her down and dissapointed her for mistakes ive made. If theres a chance for me to rewrite everything. I am willing to sacrifice everything i have now to start all over again. I shouldnt have brought her into my chapters. This chapter i will leave it blank, for i ever wish that i can rewrite it. But, wishes never comes true....
Ebby:
This chapter will only have the title.
HAH... ive spent 1 hour writing this whole of craps.
hmm... i need to sleep and also slim down. hmmm...
k nights...
*[[ And they lived happily ever after... ]]*
|1:51 AM|
